There’s a huge emphasis on kids’ activities these days. My 94-year-old Granny complains every time I talk to her about how busy we are. “In her day, everyone stayed home … ” I think she also walked uphill in the snow, both ways.
The point is, times have changed. More moms work outside the house. To be ready for kindergarten, most kids go to preschool. And there are TONS of opportunities for our children—things we weren’t able to do until we were in middle or high school. My daughter’s school even has a National Honor Society for elementary kiddos.
There are two extremes, and we can choose to not put our kids in anything or put them in something different every day. We can arrange their schedules so that they have no downtime or we can choose to boycott intensive sports/band/activities altogether.
As parents, we each need to look at what is best for our kids and our family. What’s right for my family isn’t necessarily right for your family. The choices I make for my kids will be different than the choices you make for your kids. That doesn’t mean that either is wrong. When I look at how Jesus dealt with people, he didn’t have a one-size-fits-all mentality. He didn’t pick up a stone and throw it at the woman in John 8. He met Nicodemus at night. He fed hungry people from one boy’s lunch instead of telling them they were out of luck for not planning ahead.
I think he does the same with our families. He created each one of us differently so it would stand to reason that our family activities will look different.
One of my daughters plays competitive soccer. The other doesn’t. For my girls, both are the right decision. I can say that confidently, because my husband and I have sat down every season to re-evaluate what we are doing. We don’t just assume that since we’ve done it once, our girls will continue on to the next level or never join anything.
Here are some questions we ask each other as a family:
- Does my child enjoy it?
- Is the practice/game schedule doable for our family?
- Does it bring out the best in my daughter? Does it develop her as a person and not just a player?
- Do we enjoy the families of the other girls on her team?
- Can we afford it?
- Do we need to try something else for a season?
- By saying “yes” to this activity, are we saying “no” to something else that we hold valuable in our household?
As parents, we almost need to wear blinders at times. It doesn’t matter if it works for another family—that doesn’t make it right for yours. Decide as a family where you are going to invest your time and reevaluate it every so often.
I too have noticed this trend. I have six kids and have thought about this over the years as it relates to my family. My wife and I feel it is critical to practice hospitality and have time in our lives to be available to others outside our family. In my experience enrolling your children in sports is not a bad thing but will limit your available time as a family to practice hospitality. If you have several children enrolled in sports, ask yourself, “When is the last time we have someone over to our home to spend an afternoon with our family?” If the answer is, “never, we don’t have time in our schedule.” then I would say that it might be possible that you have a schedule that prevents you from practicing hospitality. This limits your family’s ability to follow 1 Peter 4:9 ‘Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling’-NIV/ ‘Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay’ – NLT. Paul also gives this as a command in Romans 12:13 when he states, ’Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.’-NIV / ‘When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.’-NLT.
So I would add the following question to ask each other as a family:
• Does adding this to our schedule prevent us from being able to practice hospitality as a family?
Hey Jonathan! You hit the nail on the head! When my kids want to invite friends to spend the night and we can’t find a weekend for a month because we have so many events–no matter how good they are–we are too busy. Great insight!
If I could, I would throw a party every weekend and invite everybody we know, but what we have found is that we have had to narrow some of our hospitality–instead of doing lots of things with lots of people, we try to be intentional about who we spend time with as a family.